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- St John Chrysostom
St. John Chrysostom name literally meant John "The Golden Tongue." He has proven to live up to his name sake once again with these words on marriage from his ancient Homily on the Letter to the Ephesians. These words were placed on the back of the program from the wedding that I attended this past weekend. I remember when the groom first heard these words as they were preached from the pulpit one Sunday morning. I remember him and I going to the computer to look up where they had come from and finding the esteemed homily from one the Church Fathers. Yes, the Church has always placed marriage in high esteem! It is no some second-rate vocation for those who can't cut the celibate life but one for those called to bring the light of Jesus Christ into the domestic and ordinary world.
Matrimony is the only sacrament that is based on a natural foundation. Marriage has existed since the beginning. Man and Woman were made for each other to become for each other a total gift that would be given to the other. It is in marriage that we as humans are able to imitate God, because marriage is a community of Love which is mirror of who God is. It is probably better to say that God is family and that we are "like family" It is in God that we understand the meanings of family and community.
God is a Trinity of Persons, meaning that his one divine nature has three person perfectly existing and acting with it. God is different than us (which makes sense because if he was just like us he would seize to be God) His nature is infinite, meaning He has always be here...there is not beginning or end with God, He just is! With us we know that there is a beginning,, that is what we call creation or birth (or conception if you want to get real technical). So God is different than us. And in this infinite inner life of the Trinity there exist a perfect gift of persons. The Father gives Himself completely to the Son and the Son in return gives himself completely to the Father (Remember the Crucified Son on Calvary) and the love that forms between these two infinite persons we give the name Holy Spirit.
Now no analogy is perfect, nor is comprehending fully the mystery of the Trinity even possible for mere mortals like us, but when we turn to the family we start to see this life giving love of the Trinity. Yes, the husband gives himself totally to his wife and the wife in return gives herself totally to her husband and often their love is so powerful and life-giving that nine months later we have to give that love a name!
Now back to where we began. Marriage is about falling head over heels in love with another that you are able to give your entire life to without reserves. There is a great trust needed for marriage, a trust in God....it is in this trust that love cast out fear (1 John 4:18). It is in this trust that man and woman rise above their weaknesses and their selfish and learn to lay down their lives for each other. In the Community of Love, self does not exist. The hard times do not seem so hard and the joys of life are so sweet. It is the duty, no the desire of the lover to see his or her spouse in the eternal vision with our God face to face. This is what the labor of love on this earth is working towards.
I love the words of the Golden Tongue, "For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us." It is here that we find great food for though in our own lives. Do we live life in such a way that we desire to love people in this life so that we might be with them in the next? In the next life (or better state the fullness of life or the continued life, for we are not reincarnated like some might think) we will be face to face with our Creator who loves us with a love that will overwhelm us like a mighty river! And this is why we must put the people we love, particularly those we are called to married "above all things" in this life.
Our lives are not our own. Remember the words of Jesus, "Whoever seeks to gain his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life, will preserve it." (Luke 17:33) This doesn't mean our lives will be filled with dull images of dry and colorless drama, but remember that in the Community of love, self does not exist....This is precisely Jesus point. We lose our "self" by giving our "self" to another. It is in this pure and noble gift, which many of us will call marriage that we find our "self" and not to mention become saints!
Matrimony is the only sacrament that is based on a natural foundation. Marriage has existed since the beginning. Man and Woman were made for each other to become for each other a total gift that would be given to the other. It is in marriage that we as humans are able to imitate God, because marriage is a community of Love which is mirror of who God is. It is probably better to say that God is family and that we are "like family" It is in God that we understand the meanings of family and community.
God is a Trinity of Persons, meaning that his one divine nature has three person perfectly existing and acting with it. God is different than us (which makes sense because if he was just like us he would seize to be God) His nature is infinite, meaning He has always be here...there is not beginning or end with God, He just is! With us we know that there is a beginning,, that is what we call creation or birth (or conception if you want to get real technical). So God is different than us. And in this infinite inner life of the Trinity there exist a perfect gift of persons. The Father gives Himself completely to the Son and the Son in return gives himself completely to the Father (Remember the Crucified Son on Calvary) and the love that forms between these two infinite persons we give the name Holy Spirit.
Now no analogy is perfect, nor is comprehending fully the mystery of the Trinity even possible for mere mortals like us, but when we turn to the family we start to see this life giving love of the Trinity. Yes, the husband gives himself totally to his wife and the wife in return gives herself totally to her husband and often their love is so powerful and life-giving that nine months later we have to give that love a name!
Now back to where we began. Marriage is about falling head over heels in love with another that you are able to give your entire life to without reserves. There is a great trust needed for marriage, a trust in God....it is in this trust that love cast out fear (1 John 4:18). It is in this trust that man and woman rise above their weaknesses and their selfish and learn to lay down their lives for each other. In the Community of Love, self does not exist. The hard times do not seem so hard and the joys of life are so sweet. It is the duty, no the desire of the lover to see his or her spouse in the eternal vision with our God face to face. This is what the labor of love on this earth is working towards.
I love the words of the Golden Tongue, "For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us." It is here that we find great food for though in our own lives. Do we live life in such a way that we desire to love people in this life so that we might be with them in the next? In the next life (or better state the fullness of life or the continued life, for we are not reincarnated like some might think) we will be face to face with our Creator who loves us with a love that will overwhelm us like a mighty river! And this is why we must put the people we love, particularly those we are called to married "above all things" in this life.
Our lives are not our own. Remember the words of Jesus, "Whoever seeks to gain his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life, will preserve it." (Luke 17:33) This doesn't mean our lives will be filled with dull images of dry and colorless drama, but remember that in the Community of love, self does not exist....This is precisely Jesus point. We lose our "self" by giving our "self" to another. It is in this pure and noble gift, which many of us will call marriage that we find our "self" and not to mention become saints!
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